


Allen's Not-Very-Well-Thought-Out Revenge! (But Kanda is Hot and Allen Can't Help Himself)

by Eternal_writes



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: (only one episode tho), Allen Walker Needs a Hug, Allen Walker can play all the instruments, Allen Walker is More Than A Little Gay, Allen Walker is a Dork, Allen Walker is a Little Shit, Allen falls hard, Allen is an Asshole, Allen is petty, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angry Kanda Yuu, BAMF Allen Walker, Bottom Allen Walker, Crack Treated Seriously, Crack and Angst, Dead Mana Walker, Drama & Romance, Endgame Yullen, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Kanda Yuu Swears a Lot, Kanda Yuu has Feelings, Kanda being Jealous of Narain for twenty minutes, Kanda is An Asshole, M/M, Masamune-kun's Revenge AU, Minor Character Death, My own Yullen Week 2020, My world my rules you hoes, Non-Consensual Groping, Non-Consensual Touching, Out of Character Kanda Yuu, People Don't Care If Your Gay in this fic, Protective Kanda Yuu, Shojo Cliches for days, Slightly Inspired by Kaichou Wa Maid-Sama! | Maid Sama, Strangers to Acquaintances who flirt none stop (mostly kanda), To even worse enemies, Top Kanda Yuu, Yullen, actually this is more angst with a hint of crack, and a HEAVY ASS DOSE OF SEXUAL TENSION BUT YOU DIDNT HEAR THAT FROM ME GUYS, but more like, hah, kabedon, to enemies, to lovers, to tolerable friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_writes/pseuds/Eternal_writes
Summary: It's been eight years since Allen Walker had set foot in Japan. Eight years since Mana's death, and since he'd last saw Kanda Yuu— his childhood bully.Allen isn't the petty type, but after what Kanda did to him? He deserves a taste of his own medicine. Even if that means finding a way to get the Ice Prince of Order High School to date him! And then dumping him. Too bad Kanda has other plans...(A Masamune-kun's Revenge AU without all the pantie shots(unless you want to see some underwear... ahem Allen's or Kanda's? Pick your poison. But I guess it wouldn't be a pantie shot if Kanda's just taking off his pants...)and horrible ending)
Relationships: Cross Marian & Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu & Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu & Lavi, Kanda Yuu & Lavi & Lenalee Lee & Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu & Lenalee Lee, Kanda Yuu/Allen Walker, Lavi & Allen Walker, Lavi/Lenalee Lee, Lenalee Lee & Allen Walker, Narain/Allen Walker, Nea D. Campbell & Allen Walker, its not endgame tho
Comments: 44
Kudos: 64





	1. Perverted Pig

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheHopelessWeeb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHopelessWeeb/gifts).



> lmao this is f u c k i n g crack

After spending all of his middle school years in America, far from Japan— where he’d grown up, even though he was of European descent —Allen had finally returned to his childhood home. Of course, he didn’t look anything like what he _previously_ looked like, but that was kind of the point. 

Most of it was unintentional, but in the end, it had all suited his purposes, as he came to live with his Uncle Neah again. 

Neah had been excited to hear that Allen was returning to Japan for good this time, after such a long time in America with his guardian Cross. 

~~(There was more to the story, but he didn’t need to delve too deep at the moment. It wasn’t important.)~~

Cross let out a puff of smoke from his cigarette as they entered the train station. Bold Japanese was displayed on the overhead sign, blinking periodically, but Allen was glaring at the cancer stick in Cross’ mouth. 

His guardian did nothing but drop it onto the concrete and crush it in his foot before returning Allen’s glare. “There, you satisfied idiot apprentice?” 

Allen crossed his arms. “If you’d quit smoking all together I’d be much happier,” He told him with a slight pout. 

“It’s too late to try that shit,” Cross mumbled in perfect Japanese, and Allen sighed heavily. “If you would’ve come around my ten years earlier you probably could’ve stopped me,” 

Well, at least he was being honest. 

Allen turned away from his guardian, and Cross chuckled. “Okay, I guess I’ll try, just for you squirt,” 

He almost wanted to say something snarky, but Cross was dragging him onto the train before he could even open his mouth. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance as his guardian practically shoved him into one of the free seats on the train and sat next to him. 

Was he excited to see Neah after so long? Probably. Probably more excited than Allen himself, seeing as he and Neah had been friends long before Allen had even been adopted by Mana. 

Allen pulled out his phone, ignoring how Cross’ hand itched to reach into his pocket to grab more cigarettes. He wouldn’t hit him while on the train. ~~(Neah would’ve.)~~

He scrolled through the News, trying to find any inkling as to what had been happening during all the years he’d been learning in America. Or maybe he should be catching up on the memes, but whatever. 

Anyway, he found himself scrolling through an article talking about the newly rebuilt and remodeled Order High School. A school for the unbelievably smart and talented. Izuku would be attending it starting tomorrow, and he once again felt his stomach clench with worry. 

Anxiety climbed up his throat and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He hadn’t gone to a school in Japan since elementary school. What if he forgot to take off his shoes before entering?! 

God he was definitely going to make a fool of himself, wasn’t he? What if he got lost?  
  


“Damn, I can hear you worrying from over here,” Cross told him gruffly. “You’ve only been gone for a little while,” 

Allen clutched his head and groaned. _“It was years,”_ He whispered, mostly to himself, “I’ve been gone for _years_ , Cross,” 

“Not much has changed, though,” Cross told him, “It’s not like you’re in a foreign country. You grew up here,” 

_Okay, fair point._ He thought to himself, setting his phone onto his lap for a moment. The train whipped past the city and into a more suburban area that Allen recognized. The cherry blossom trees were already in full bloom, and the wind only helped in spreading the petals around the ground. 

In fact, he realized as he shoved his phone in his back pocket, the petals were everywhere. Not a single surface in sight was free of the small pastel flower petals. Familiar nostalgia washed over him as he walked around with Cross following closely behind. 

Cross would never admit it out loud, but he loved Allen like he was his own son. Allen pretended not to know as his guardian secretly watched out for any threats. He was an overly paranoid guardian due to his habit to rack up debt. 

Allen knew first-hand how deep the man could go, before Allen had to drag him out of it. The walk to Neah’s house was a short one, and theoretically his walk to school would be even shorter. That was comforting at least, considering how easily he got lost. 

And speaking of being lost… 

From behind him, Cross rolled his eyes and sighed. “This way, beansprout,” 

“Hey!” Allen exclaimed, following after him as he led them the rest of the way there. “Don’t start calling me that again!” 

Cross’ smug look was enough to have Allen sighing in defeat as they finally reached Neah’s front door. As if he was trying to be as annoying as possible, Cross held down the doorbell button until Neah came to the front door looking flustered and caught off-guard as he took in the appearance of his nephew and his long time best friend. 

“Long time no see, Neah,” Cross grumbled as if he wasn’t the least bit excited to be here. Neah’s grin made it obvious that he knew exactly how excited Cross was to see him. He moved out of the doorway and ushered them inside. 

“I was just finishing cleaning up your room Allen,” He explained, as Allen looked around in surprise. It was a lot cleaner than he remembered it being. “It’s a little messy right now, but—”

“I don’t remember it ever being this clean,” Cross commented with a smirk. “You trying to impress the short stack?” 

“Stop calling me names!” Allen exclaimed in annoyance. Cross just ignored him and ventured into the kitchen. 

“Where’s the beer?” Cross asked from across the house.

“The cabinet next to the fridge!” Neah told him, before turning to Allen with a bright smile. “Now Allen, it’s been so long! What’ve you been up to? How was America?” 

Allen felt a little overwhelmed but smiled nonetheless. “It was… different,” He explained, “The music programs there were really good though, I learned a lot!” 

Neah brightened at the mention of music, as he always did, and Allen’s smile felt a little more real this time. 

* * *

  
  
  


Allen left Cross and Neah to their own devices the next morning as he got dressed for school. The dress shirt he wore was kind of uncomfortable to wear against the sensitive skin of his scarred arm. The blazer didn’t help at all, but Allen definitely didn’t want to stick out more than he already was going to. 

His white hair and scar running down his face were sure to draw more than a few curious glances. If he showed up wearing something that wasn’t the uniform then it’d be even _worse._

He already suffered enough as it is, why not add being infinitely uncomfortable to this list? 

Allen slipped on a pair of gloves and finally grabbed his bag before heading downstairs. Neah and Cross were talking about random things as he came down. They both looked up, and Cross grinned at him. 

“What?” He snapped, not feeling in the mood for Cross’ antics this early. 

“Nothin’, you gonna eat?” He asked, gesturing to the food sitting on the table. 

Allen suddenly nodded eagerly and sat himself down. He instantly started to shovel food into his mouth at an alarming rate, and not even five minutes later thanked Neah for making him the food. 

Neah waved him off, explaining that it was the least he could do. Especially after everything that Allen had gone through. 

The last part had Allen’s expression souring a tad bit, but he pushed through it and left before Neah could say anything about it. 

After all, he’d come to Japan for a reason. Aside from wanting to live with Neah again, Allen had a plan. A plot, if he was being honest. 

He’d come here for revenge against a certain stoic and stone-cold samurai for all the mean and hurtful things he’d said when they were kids. 

Yeah, it was unbelievably petty, but Allen deserved to be petty. The things Kanda Yuu had done to him were unforgivable. He tightened his grip on his bag and took in the scenery around him. 

The familiar cherry blossoms that littered the street and floated lazily into his hair. The sidewalks there were cracked because of how old they were. The stray cats that never seemed to have a home, even after all these years. 

Allen sighed, as he neared the school. He passed the soccer field as he neared the school entrance, and a couple of girls who were at soccer practice noticed his hair and started whispering to one another. Awkwardly he walked a little faster until— 

“Hey, you’re our new transfer student Allen Walker, right?” A girl with pigtails asked, running up to intercept him. Allen opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. “Didn’t you score one hundred percent on the entrance exam? No one’s ever done that before!” 

“U-uh,” Allen began awkwardly, “Yeah I d-did,” 

“That’s so cool!” She replied, twirling her hair around her finger as she spoke. “I like your hair by the way,” 

Allen couldn’t help the blush that colored his cheeks. “Ah, c’mon Lena-Lady! You’re freaking him out!”

“I am _not!_ Right, Allen?” The girl continued, ignoring the red-head who’d come up behind her to grin at Allen. He had an eyepatch covering one of his eyes and a headband around his head. “My name is Lenalee Lee, nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you as well,” Allen responded, and Lavi threw his arm around Lenalee’s shoulder. 

“The name’s Lavi,” He said, with a smirk. “We’re gonna be the same class,” 

“O-Oh, well that’s good,” Allen told him, shifting on his feet awkwardly. “I get lost pretty easy—” 

“Oh man, same,” Lavi mumbled with a slight twinkle in his eyes. “We can get lost together!” 

_Okay, so that actually doesn’t sound too bad._

Allen smiled. “Oh, I can even walk you to school!” Lavi continued, turning to Lenalee, “See you later babe!” 

Lenalee rolled her eyes good-naturedly and waved at Allen as Lavi grabbed his hand and practically dragged him the rest of the way to the school. Allen blinked. He hadn’t expected to make friends so quickly here… Or at all. 

A lot of times in America his classmates had avoided him like the plague, but it wasn’t his place to be angry with them. He _was_ an abomination, ever since the incident—

“We’re here!” Lavi exclaimed, with a wide smile. “Order High School—” 

“Oh, is another guy confessing his love for the Ice Prince?” Someone mumbled, and Lavi had gone pale. 

Allen furrowed his brow. Lavi looked up to the rooftop of the school building. It was bigger than the school he’d gone to in America, that was for sure. It was in good condition as he expected. 

It had been remodeled very recently, so it was quite modern. It had the usual four floors as every other school in the area, but it was much cleaner. 

There were cherry blossom trees planted by the doors, but what had caught Lavi’s attention was—

Kanda Yuu. In his hand was a microphone, and more people began to whisper to one another. 

“Oh damn,” Someone mumbled, “I don’t think it’s going to go well for Takashi-kun,” 

“He doesn’t seem to be the Ice Prince’s type at all,” A girl replied, “I don’t even think he likes other guys,” 

“Well, he doesn’t seem to enjoy the presence of women either,” 

“Fair point,” 

“What’s…” Allen began, drawing Lavi’s attention. “What’s going on?” 

“Oh! Yuu-chan is just rejecting someone again today!” Lavi told him, but his face was pale and apologetic as Kanda tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. 

“Che,” Kanda’s voice cut through the murmur. Allen didn’t like the way his eyes shined with malice and amusement. “Takashi Yamada, you asked me out last week,” 

Allen’s widened at such a public display of… whatever the hell this was.

Takashi smiled hopefully. “Because of this, I had Lenalee run a background check on you,” Kanda stated simply, with no sign of remorse. Takashi froze. “As a result, I see that you’re not even into men at all. In fact, just yesterday you went to a maid café alone and was seen trying to look up the skirt of the waitress who was serving you. You were also spotted buying the light novel called Oh Jeez! I’m Ryuubi Gentoku in a Genderswapped ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’ And I worry about the internet-serialized novel you’ve been writing, whose protagonist shares the same name as you,” 

At this, the crowd around Takashi Yamada moved as far away from him as possible. _Genderswapped? What the hell—?_

But Kanda wasn’t done. 

“What’s more, is that you always have a single hair growing on the mole located on your chest. From this day forth, I grant you this name: Perverted Pig,” 

Kanda’s smile was pure _evil._ As he said all this. 

Allen was beginning to regret coming back to Japan already… 

Then he turned away, his long hair reaching his waist as he left the rooftop. “Damn… and I like Takashi-kun…” 

“Well if he’s Perverted pig now, there’s really nothing we can do…” 

“He’s merciless,” 

“Someone would be out of their mind to try and date that monster,” 

“Scary,” 

“But he’s kinda hot, isn’t he?” 

“That’s the Ice Prince for you,” 

_What. The. Actual. Fuck._


	2. The Sunshine Prince

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Damn, this crack fic is just so easy to write...
> 
> This is your (super, super, super, super, super late) birthday present TheHopelessWeeb! Enjoy!

Lavi ushered him into his classroom without bothering to explain exactly what Allen had just witnessed. And Allen honestly didn’t _want_ to know what he just saw. But… If he was going to get his revenge on Kanda for everything he’d said and done, then he needed to know what kind of guy he was dealing with. 

Obviously Kanda was a jackass and a half, with a scowl to match. But did he have any weaknesses or fears? Lavi would probably know. 

But he was too nervous to ask, as he tugged on his sleeves. Clothes like these were always so uncomfortable. One wrong move and his scarred arm would become the laughing stock of the school. 

~~(Just like in America).~~

Lavi kept glancing at him through each of their classes, and he finally said something when lunch rolled around. “So… about this morning,” He began, and Allen turned to look at him curiously. “Yuu-chan is probably one of the most popular people in school aside from me and Lenalee. As a result people kind of fall at his feet, I guess is the best way to put it…” 

“Hm,” Allen mumbled, “So he made a game out of rejecting people?” 

Lavi nodded, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “Pretty much, beansprout. He’s gotten so popular at this point that even guys are falling for him. He’s gotten so cruel to the point that people gave him the nickname Ice Prince, or The Cruel Prince depending on who you’re talking to. Getting a nickname from his is seen as a mix between a rite of passage and being outcast. He’s really ruthless,” 

Allen could feel himself pale slightly. “I— I realized that pretty quickly,” 

“But!” Lavi exclaimed with a mischievous grin, “I think you could be a force for good when it comes to him,” 

Oh, he wasn’t liking the sound of this. Was Lavi going to try to set them up? _He hadn’t planned for this._

“W-what?” Allen asked fearfully, leaning away from Lavi. Even if he was trying to help him without knowing it, he couldn’t look too eager. 

“I mean like— You’re really good looking, so you could definitely give him a run for his money, and negate his negative effects! I’ve noticed how girls and guys alike have been looking at you all day. How would you like to become The Charming Prince? We can come up with a better name if you don’t like that one,” 

“Uhhh,” Allen mumbled, his gloved hand coming up to his face to twirl a lock of his hair around his finger. “Well, I don’t really…” 

“Oh please?” Lenalee suddenly begged from in front of him. She had turned all the way around in her seat to clasp her hands together. “I wanna see what Kanda’s face would look like when you have the whole school wrapped around your finger! Imagine how annoyed he’d feel if he realized you’re one of the only people in school who isn’t either terrified of him or in love with him!” 

“But aren’t you guys the same way? How would my feeling that way have any effect?” 

_But more importantly, why am I entertaining this line of thought?_

“Well we’ve been dating long before he became the Ice Prince, and we’re his childhood friends,” Lavi explained, “But if a random foreigner comes along and doesn’t fall for him he’ll go nuts!” 

Allen nodded seriously, tapping his hand against his chin. He tucked the piece of information about them being childhood friends away. It wouldn’t hinder him in the end, considering he’d never met either of them when they were children. 

“And keep this a secret, but you’re totally his type,” Lenalee whispered, leaning in close so that only he and Lavi could hear her. “And you’ve totally got that air of mystery going on for you,” 

A look of confusion must’ve crossed his face, because she elaborated. “You’re wearing gloves, and you’ve got one of the coolest scars I’ve ever seen,” 

He averted his eyes in embarrassment. He twiddled his thumbs nervously. “Thanks, I guess,” 

“You’re welcome,” Lenalee told him with a smile, “Why do you wear gloves, anyway?” 

Allen went silent. 

_He and Mana were just walking across the street when they heard the squealing of tires. Mana’s head snapped up in alarm, and shoved Allen out of the way of the oncoming vehicle, but it wasn’t enough—_

“You don’t have to answer that,” Lenalee said apologetically, “Sorry, I didn’t realize it was serious,” 

“It’s— It’s fine really,” He mumbled, removing his hands from his desk and putting them in his lap. “I just like to have my hands covered, is all,” 

“I see,” Lenalee replied, with a soft smile. “Anyway—” 

The door to their classroom opened roughly, as if someone had thrown it open. Not even a second later as Allen’s head snapped up, Kanda entered his classroom. His eyes were narrowed, glancing, glancing, searching. But for who? 

Allen did his best not to react at all when Kanda’s cold, piercing eyes settled on him. He stormed over to Allen’s desk and grabbed him by the tie. He had no qualms about sitting right on Allen’s desk and glaring at him.

His classmates and friends had gone utterly silent. 

Kanda pulled him close by the tie, with their faces only inches apart. Allen could feel his breath against his face, but he fought the blush that was attempting to dust his cheeks. He remained impassive and blank. 

“You,” Kanda began, and Allen raised an eyebrow. 

“The name’s Allen, but I guess You is close enough,” Allen replied smoothly, “Did you need something?” 

The silence was deafening, but Kanda’s expression didn’t change almost at all. He did notice how his eyebrow twitched with irritation, but otherwise nothing. “Do you know anyone by the name of Tanabe Akio? Is he here?” 

Well, first of all, Allen had no idea who that was. “Uh,” Allen mumbled uselessly, “I have no idea who that is—” 

“Th-that’s me,” A guy said from the other side of the room, chewing on his lip. He was on the plumper side considering his weight, but that didn’t matter to Allen. 

In fact, he looked pretty attractive. At least he wasn’t a stick walking, like some people tended to be. A blush colored the boy’s cheeks, and Allen could feel dread beginning to pool in his stomach as Kanda straightened instantly, glaring at the poor soul. He had what obviously looked like a love letter in his hand.

He flipped his hair over his shoulder before finally getting off of Allen’s desk. Tanabe-kun’s blush became more pronounced as Kanda stalked over to him. 

But Allen remembered those eyes, and remembered just how cruel that mouth could be. ~~(Although he~~ ~~_definitely_ ~~ ~~saw how soft his lips were—)~~

Kanda leaned against the desk at the front of the class and began to read aloud: “‘I fell for how dignified you looked while in PE class yesterday.’ Simply put, you like how my arms look in short-sleeved shirts.” He held the letter up a little higher before he tore it to shreds. “From now on, I’ll call you Pudding Prince,” 

He grinned as Tanabe paled, and turned away leaving the classroom. Lavi had put his head in his hands and groaned. 

As he closed the door behind him, he glanced at Allen momentarily. “Che,” 

Allen swallowed thickly, clenching his hands in his lap. 

Lenalee got up to comfort the newly dubbed Pudding Prince, and Lavi turned to him excitedly. “He _totally_ looked at you as he left!”

“He doesn’t like me at all, it seems,” Allen told him, with his eyebrows raised. “Do you really want me to become his competitor? Isn’t that—”

“Aw c’mon! It’ll totally be fun, and you’ll be able to keep Yuu-chan out of trouble by comforting all the people he insults!” 

“Why don’t you just tell him to stop?” Allen wondered aloud. It would be much easier that way. “Wouldn’t he listen to you?” 

“Nah,” Lavi said with a slight laugh. “Yuu-chan never listens to a thing I say! They only reason he’s not any crueler is because Lenalee told him to go easier on people,” 

_But I don’t want to do this._

Lavi nudged his shoulder. “There’s your chance right now! Go comfort Pudding Prince with Lenalee!” 

_Fucking jeez I regret this already._

“What, next you want me to comfort Perverted Pig?” Allen grumbled, “I don’t wanna run around fixing Kanda’s messes!” 

Lavi threw his arm around Allen’s shoulder. He stiffened. “That and I want you to seduce him!” 

With a heavy sigh, Allen got up from his seat and came to stand next to Lenalee. She was rubbing comforting circles into Tanabe-kun’s back. Okay, here goes. “What Kanda-kun said to you was mean,” Allen began, “Don’t listen to him,” 

Tanabe wiped away a few stray tears, but it didn’t look like Allen’s words were really reaching him. Maybe… 

“How about I give you a nicer nickname?” Allen glanced down at Tanabe’s phone case. It had a sunflower on the back. Tanabe had looked at him in shock and adoration. Allen flashed him one of his most winning smiles. “How does Sunflower sound, since you have a sunflower phone case?” 

If Tanabe wasn’t crying before, then he definitely was now. Allen chewed on his lip nervously before Tanabe-kun launched himself onto Allen and hugged him with all his might. “T-thank you Allen!” 

“You’re welcome,” Allen said in response. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all. He sat back down, and both Lavi and Lenalee gave him a thumbs up.

“You’re a lot better at this than I thought! Maybe we should call you The Sunshine Prince?” Lenalee told him, coming to stand next to his desk before checking the time. “Oh crap, I gotta go find Yuu-kun, and see if he needs anything,” 

Lenalee gave him a smile. Lavi reached over to give him a high five. 

“Imma go grab something to eat,” Lavi said after a second, “Wanna tag along?” 

Allen shook his head, “I’m going to look around the school for a bit,” 

* * *

  
  


He ended up getting lost in the end. Of course, and ended up near an empty gym storage building on campus. Their campus was huge.

And when he peeked inside he saw Kanda and Lenalee sitting next to each other. Allen was about to leave them be, considering how he doubted that Lenalee was cheating on Lavi with Kanda. ~~(A part of him scolded himself. Kanda could be Bi for all he knew).~~

But originally he’d been planning on leaving them alone, but that was before a spider zipped down on a thin string of web right in front of his face. _Spider! Spider!_

Fear made his heart tighten in his chest very suddenly, and his eyes had gone impossibly wide.

It dropped to the ground right in front of him.

Without thinking Allen screamed and dived into the storage building. “Sp-spider!” He screamed as he threw the door open and shocked the hell out of Lenalee and Kanda. 

Lenalee chuckled slightly and got up from her spot on a long-forgotten table. “Where is it, Allen-kun?” She asked, as Kanda glared at him silently. 

“R-right outside the door,” Allen explained, pointing his finger behind him. “I got lost and then that _thing_ dropped from nowhere and scared the hell out of me!” 

He watched with bated breath as Lenalee opened the door and squashed the bug easily under the heel of her shoe. 

She came to Allen’s side and patted his head. “There, there, Allen-kun. It’s dead now,” 

He gave her a look full of gratitude. “Thank you Lenalee-san,”

“Any time,” She told him as she went to sit back down in her previous spot. That’s when Allen decided to have a look around the storage room. 

Sitting beside Kanda were a number of trays of empty food, and the only thing Allen could think in that moment was _what a fucking mood._

“S-so,” He began. “Why are you guys hiding in the storage room?” 

“Well, you see, Kanda has—” 

“Che. Don’t go around telling this fucking beansprout everything about me—”

“You have a metabolism issue?” Allen guessed. “Your body digests food too fast, so you have to eat a lot, right? And you don’t want anyone to know?” 

Kanda scowled at him. 

Lenalee looked taken aback. “H-how’d you know that?” She asked. 

Allen rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well… I kind of have the same problem. So your secret’s safe with me, Kanda!” 

_And now we have something in common. That should win me some brownie points with him, and further our relationship._

Kanda looked fucking furious. “Get. Out.” 

_Or maybe not._

Allen tried not to pout. He wanted to talk to him more, and hurry up and get his revenge. He wanted to make Kanda feel similar to how Allen felt all those years ago after Kanda rejected him. Just because he was short. ~~(Truth be told, Kanda was just a fucking asshole).~~

But Kanda just glared at him more fiercely than before.

God damn it, this was going to be much harder than he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry! Kanda will warm up to him soon~
> 
> (also these chapter lengths are hella short because this is lowkey a crackfic, sorry yall)


	3. La Campanella

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes another chapter lmao >:D

It happened when Allen was headed home. He was glancing down at his phone as he waited for the light to turn red so he could walk across the street, looking up every so often so he didn’t miss his chance. It all happened purely thanks to chance, as he glanced up again. 

Kanda had come to stand right next to him at some point. He shifted slightly on his feet and glanced up slightly. “Hi,” He said suddenly, “Do you live around here, Kanda?” 

Allen stared at him for a second, and Kanda scowled. He felt his chest tighten with anxiety.

There was a beat of silence. “Yeah,” He said, not bothering to look at Allen at all. “You do too, short stack?”

Allen’s eyebrow twitched at the nickname, but he nodded anyway. If Kanda saw it, he didn’t say anything as the light signaled that they could walk. Even after all these years, Kanda called him short in some form. 

Even if he wouldn’t ever call him Moyashi again.

He and Kanda didn’t say anything as they walked together. The silence was thick and awkward, but soon enough it was cut off abruptly by Neah, who ran out of his house to greet Allen. 

“You’re back!” Neah exclaimed, “I missed you!” 

“I was only gone for a few hours uncle…” Allen murmured, and Kanda stopped to stare at the both of them. Allen wondered briefly what his hair would look like if he pulled it into a ponytail. 

“Oh! Kanda-kun, how have you been?” Neah asked, turning to him instantly. Kanda suddenly look constipated, and Allen really didn’t blame him. His uncle was hyperactive. 

“...Good,” Kanda bit out like it was painful. “Tiedoll says thank you for the new paints you got him for his birthday,” 

“Oh tell him it was my pleasure! Do you want any paint, Kanda?” He asked, “He’s a painter too, like his dad. Did you know that Allen?” 

Allen shook his head. But this was getting awkward. He didn’t really want to _know_ Kanda the way he used to. He just wanted to get revenge on him for all the mean things he’d said. Right…? Right. 

Revenge. He was going to get his revenge.

“And of course my dearest nephew is a skilled musician!” Neah told Kanda, and Allen could feel his face get unbelievably hot with embarrassment. “He’s even better than I am! He’s plays piano, electric keyboard, violin, cello, viola—” 

“Uncle Neah, I think he gets it—” Allen began, waving his hands around uselessly but Neah wasn’t finished. 

“When can you and Tiedoll come over next? It’s been so long since the two of you ate dinner with me! And this time Allen will be there!” 

_Oh no. Oh please no._

The situation was getting out of hand fast, and Kanda was looking more increasingly uncomfortable as the seconds passed. “I’ll be sure to tell him you invited us. He’ll probably text you,” 

After that, Neah finally waved goodbye to him, and Kanda left. Neah led Allen inside, and Allen groaned. 

“Isn’t Kanda cute?” Neah asked suddenly, with a wide smile. “Are you two friends? Is that why you were walking home together?” 

Allen groaned. Loudly. “Nooo!” He whined. “He’s so _stoic._ And awkward…”

“But that’s what makes him so cute, right?” 

Allen blushed and averted his eyes. “You’re so embarrassing,” 

“I try my best, dear nephew!” 

_God just let me die._

* * *

  
  
His classes were boring. They had tests coming up next week, but Allen really couldn’t care less. He was smart, and studied enough that he could probably sleep in class. But he would never do that because Neah would quite literally have his head.

He figured that today would be just as uneventful as the last three days had been.

However, when he got to school today, Kanda was standing on the rooftop again with a microphone in his hand. Another rejection. 

Lavi came to his side and slung his arm around Allen’s shoulder. “Hey, what’s popping, Allen?” 

Allen smiled slightly. “Nothing much. Who is it this time?”  
  


“Mineta Kojirou,” Lavi explained with a smirk. “The guy’s kind of a dick, so he’s getting what he deserves. He’s harassed like half the school before. Also, I’ve heard that you’re gaining popularity already! It’s only your first full week here!” 

_Oh yippee._

He smiled for Lavi’s sake. “Already?” He muttered, “That’s a lot faster than I thought,” 

“Same! I thought it would take longer—”

“Tch,” Kanda grumbled, and the crowd around the entrance went silent. “Mineta Kojirou, you asked me out yesterday.” 

Allen sighed heavily. Mineta looked eager to hear Kanda’s opinion of him. “Because of this I had Lenalee run a background check on you. It seems that your most recent Google searches were: ‘How to know if I’m a Masochist,’ and ‘Top Ten Shojo Manga of the Year.’ As a result I formally give you this name: Masochist Man-Child,” 

Ruthless. 

“Damn Yuu-chan,” Lavi whistled, “That’s a bit dramatic. Even for him,” 

“Honestly I’m starting to expect this kind of stuff,” Allen mumbled with a heavy sigh, “Let’s just go to class,” 

Lavi nodded and they both of them headed to class as a paper banner with _MASOCHIST MAN-CHILD_ written on it unrolled. 

Overkill, but if what Lavi said about harassment was true, then Allen couldn’t _really_ be that mad. Lavi started to mumble about something as they walked to their class, and Allen nodded along every few seconds. 

That was until someone stopped him in the hallway. 

“Wait! Allen-kun!” A girl shouted as he passed. Allen stopped in his tracks and looked in the direction of where the voice was coming from. 

He chose to ignore how everyone in the hallway looked at the two of them. “Yes?” He asked, as she shifted on her feet awkwardly. “Did you need something?” 

She blushed, and Allen almost instantly realized what was happening. _This is happening so fast. What the hell is with everyone and confessing their love to each other?_

“U-um!” She stuttered, trying to muster up some courage. Her brown bangs swayed slightly as she shifted on her feet again. Her eyes were wide and hopeful as she looked at him right in the eye. “I was… I was just wondering i-if you’d go on a date with me?” 

Allen tried his hardest not to blush as she so publicly voiced her intentions. How could he let her down easily, without seeming cruel? Oh shit. He hadn’t prepared himself for something like this. 

“As much as I appreciate the offer,” Allen mumbled, his eyes glancing back and forth between other students. There was a girl with blue hair whose face had fallen as soon as the girl had voiced her intentions. “I think there’s actually someone else who is interested in going on a date with you,” 

The brown-haired girl— Hinako Morino, he’d later learn —looked disappointed, but the other girl looked hopeful. He pointed to the girl with blue hair, and Hinako brightened up again. 

“R-really?” She mumbled, “You want to date me Yuki-chan?” 

And Allen had to look away in embarrassment. Really, what was with these people, so publicly displaying and proclaiming their love to each other? This wasn’t an anime! 

As soon as they entered their classroom Lavi let out an impressed whistle. “I didn’t expect you to pull that off, in all honesty,” 

Allen slammed his head onto the table. “You and me both. What is it with people and proclaiming their love at this school?” 

“No clue,” Lenalee replied as she set her bag on the floor next to her. “People are just like that here. It’s a little strange, but you’ll get used to it,” 

“God is that going to happen to me every day now?” Allen whispered in horror. 

Lenalee nodded. “With your Designated Bottom Energy everyone’s going to be asking you out until you get into a relationship,”

Allen choked suddenly, his eyes wide in utter shock and humiliation. “MY DESIGNATED _WHAT_ NOW?!”

“Don’t deny it, Allen-kun,” Lenalee said simply, “Everyone knows you’re _totally_ a bottom,” 

“I’m going to kill myself,” Allen said decidedly, with a long-suffering sigh. “I’m going to die. I’m going to drown myself in a river,” 

“Aw Allen, don’t say that! It’s not the worst thing they could be calling you,” 

“Like _what?”_ Allen asked, rubbing his face as he rested his elbows on his desk. But he knows. He _knows_ all the names they could call him. 

Ugly. Abomination. Monster. Scarface. Demon. Cursed. 

There were more creative possibilities but Allen couldn’t think of them for the life of him. 

“I dunno. I just feel like being called a Designated Bottom isn’t the worst,” Lavi told him, giving him a pat on the back. “Plus, what’s the harm in that anyway? It’s not the end of the world short stack,” 

He tried to not be annoyed by how easily Lavi had just insulted his height. Right. This wasn’t _the worst_ name he’d ever been called. This was fine. Especially if it got him on Kanda’s radar. 

But still…he would’ve thought that people were intimidated by him. With his scar and hair. He was _weird._

* * *

  
  


It had been a while since Allen last had the opportunity to play the piano. 

His hands danced across the keys with a kind of precision that could only come from experience. The sounds produced from the ivory keys were relaxing and almost methodically perfect. 

He’d been going through the motions, doing simple warm-ups as he readied himself. 

At first, he’d started to play the piano because he saw Neah do it, and he thought it looked cool. And then it evolved from that, to a form of physical therapy after Mana’s incident. Then it was emotional therapy. A way to make his mind shut up. And then? It had become an obsession. It consumed him. It burned at him. Screaming, _play, play, play, play. Play until your fingers all off, and the world knows who you are. Play until you’re long gone from this world. Play until you can’t anymore because it’s all you have._

An obsession that ruled him, and he let it. It was so much simpler than thinking. Than finding hobbies and interests outside of it. He loved it.

Allen took a deep breath, letting his hands rest in their usual birdcage position. He settled on a song.

Listz, La Campanella.

He stretched out his pinky finger and thumb, and began to stroke the keys with utmost care and affection. 

The notes were light and abrupt, before developing into something more, yet it retained its light tone. It got faster. Harder, and all the dexterity he’d had in his hands were coming in handy. 

His hands danced across the keys, back and forth back and forth. His body swayed only slightly as his hands moved freely, only over lapping at certain parts. 

_And the song just got more difficult._

But he pushed through as Neah’s entire house was filled with the noise. This piano was a happy piano, at least. 

There were parts where he was rapidly pressing gently on the keys like a madman. 

He played the song perfectly all the way up until it was over, but he was sweating with exertion. Maybe he should’ve worn his t-shirt, instead of a hoodie? At least he was wearing shorts.

“It’s a little too late for that,” He whispered to himself as he got up and walked to the kitchen. Only to freeze like a deer caught in headlights.

Sitting at the kitchen table was none other than Neah, Tiedoll, and Kanda. Allen’s stomach did backflips and his mouth went dry instantly. 

“Liszt, La Campanella? Right?” Neah asked simply like he was talking about the weather. “Some say he sold his soul to the devil himself to be able to play like that,” 

_And they all heard him playing._

“Y-yes,” Allen stuttered uselessly, shifting from foot to foot. “I— I didn’t realize we had guests,” 

“They didn’t mind hearing you play,” Neah assured him, “In fact, they both looked pretty impressed,” 

Kanda was glaring at him, and Allen blushed deeply. Of course. _Of course Kanda would hear him play such a complicated piece._

But his eyes drifted down to Allen’s hand but Allen was faster.

He stuck his hands in the front pocket of his hoodie and said nothing, hoping that Kanda hadn’t seen it. Tiedoll didn’t seem to notice the awkward air. Or maybe he ignored it all together. 

“I’m a doctor, you know,” Tiedoll said simply, “I could take a look at your hand, if you’d like,” 

_Fucking shit. Oh my fucking god. Not right now!_

“Oh really?” Neah replied for him, and Allen went pale. (He was already pale, but whatever). “Right now?” 

Tiedoll nodded, “If that’s fine, of course. You just have to take your hoodie off is all,” 

_HUH?!_

Allen’s face was red. This could _not_ be happening to him right now. No fucking way. “And I noticed that you limp slightly too, would you like me to look at that too?” 

Internally, Allen was screaming.


	4. Kanda has Feelings? (We're all surprised)

Tiedoll was staring at him expectantly, and Allen took a cautious step backward from where he’d come into the kitchen from. If he was slow enough, Neah wouldn’t even realize he was trying to leave. 

“I don’t think that’s really necessary,” Allen told him placatingly. “I’ve already had my arm and leg looked over by several doctors,” 

His face fell, but the understanding was evident in his expression. “If you ever find yourself in pain…” Tiedoll told him slowly, “Don’t hesitate to call me, I should be able to relieve it,” 

He looked sympathetic, but Allen hadn’t really had problems with his arm or leg unless he lifted something really heavy. ~~(But there was that one time where he’d lifted one of his textbooks and then he couldn’t lift anything with his scarred arm for a week).~~

“Thank you for the offer,” Allen said politely, pointedly not looking at Kanda at all. He pulled his gloves out of the pocket of his hoodie and turned out of Kanda’s line of sight as he slipped them on. Neah didn’t even bat an eye, before gesturing to the food at the table. 

“Are you hungry?” 

He was, but Kanda was sitting at the table. For some odd reason he had a lot of anxiety when eating in front of people. 

“No,” He said simply, feeling self-conscious. There was plenty of food on the table for all of them, but due to his metabolism issue — the same one as Kanda’s — he ate a  _ lot  _ more than regular people.

A feeling of burning hot rage rolled in his stomach. 

_ Kanda Yuu’s hair was cut short right at his chin, no longer going down to the middle of his back. Allen had come over after Tiedoll had cut it, and he and Kanda were supposed to be playing together.  _

_ Unfortunately, Kanda just plain hated him, no matter what. But for some reason, Allen kept coming back. He wouldn’t give up on befriending him. He followed Kanda around when the other would ignore him, even going as far as to sit with him as he painted.  _

_ But he was kinder than the other kids who bullied him for no apparent reason. He was infinitely kinder, by not shoving him around and beating him up. Kanda at least kept him from coming home with bruises.  _

_ Maybe that’s why he fell so hard for Kanda-kun. So, the night before his and Mana’s incident, he asked Kanda if they’d ever get married. It was a totally normal kid thing to ask, such as playing house was normal, or playing pretend games.  _

_ That night, before his entire life shattered it had been his heart that had gotten broken. Kanda had crossed his arms and turned away from him.  _

_ “No! Haven’t I told you, stupid Moyashi?” Kanda glared at him, his eyes boring into Allen’s silver eyes. That’s how he earned the nickname of Moyashi. “You’re a monster. A freak of nature. You’ve got  _ silver eyes,” 

_ Allen had gone home that night in tears.  _

_ And then Mana died, taking the brunt of a car accident. Allen hadn’t made it out unscathed, and he left for America afterward, unable to face Neah.  _

He hated Kanda.  _ He loathed him.  _

Maybe it was stupid and maybe it was childish, but he couldn’t let it go. From that day forth, everyone he’d met had started to call him that. His new classmates had said it, until he learned how to cover his imperfections and scars from the world. 

And even then, people would get curious, and force Allen out of hiding. It was an endless cycle that left him outcast and utterly alone each time. Oh, and the insults, the bullying. The harassment. 

It was all Kanda’s fault. Ever since he confessed to Kanda his life had been cursed. 

~~(He didn’t even bother to consider the possibility that he himself just had bad luck).~~

But if he wanted revenge he’d have to let himself get to know Kanda. They’d have to get close to him, and make it hurt when Allen finally dumped him. After enduring a few seconds of Neah’s puppy-dog look, he relented. 

He sighed heavily. “Fine,” He grumbled, walking across the room to sit down next to Neah. 

* * *

  
  


Yuu didn’t want to set foot in the house where the damn short stack lived, but Tiedoll insisted that he had to tag along. 

He hadn’t considered the fact that he might enjoy it. As Yuu entered the house right behind Tiedoll, music had begun to play. At first he’d been certain it was Neah playing, but then he remembered that Neah was currently leading them into the kitchen. 

But he paused too as the music began. “Is that your Nephew playing?” Tiedoll asked, with a soft smile. “He’s really good,” 

Neah smiled. “Of course he is,” he said a bit confidently. “He studied abroad in America for a long time,” 

Yuu wasn’t listening to them go back and forth like a bunch of old people. The sound of the piano followed them even when they made it into the dining room, where freshly made food was set out for them. 

Neah made them a fresh pot of tea as they waited for Allen to finish up. Tiedoll then proceeded to go on an entirely unnecessary tangent about what kinds of tea Allen liked to drink. 

“Hm,” Neah mumbled, as if reminiscing. He tapped his fingers as if he was following Allen’s lead as the music continued to play. “I’m pretty sure he likes his tea hot. He grew up drinking hot tea, and Mana really liked it too. His favorite kind though, has to be English Breakfast Tea.” 

“Mana?” Yuu echoed before he could stop himself. 

Where had he heard that name before? Or was he imagining that he heard it in the first place? 

“Allen’s adoptive father and my big brother. He passed away a long time ago,” Neah explained, and sighed heavily, his eyes clouded with grief. “The accident in which it happened was—”

He stopped mid-sentence. 

Tiedoll placed his hand on Neah’s shoulder. “I know. It was one of the most gruesome things I’ve ever seen,” 

_ Well, _ Yuu thought,  _ that’s not very comforting. _

Neah sighed heavily, and Tiedoll did the same. “Mana was a good man,” He said, “Such a bleeding heart,” 

Neah smiled slightly, before they finally switched topics as the classical music in the other room reached a chaotic tempo and ended abruptly. A few seconds later, Allen appeared with sweat on his brow, and a dreamy look on his face. To say that Yuu was enraptured by it would be an understatement. 

Allen Walker was definitely one of the most — if not,  _ the  _ most — attractive people Yuu has ever seen. Even with the scar running down his face, and his white hair, he was beautiful. In fact, those features seemed to make him even more stunning. 

It gave him the air of an ethereal being. Someone who was on an entirely different plain than everyone else. 

And god, was he the kindest person Yuu has ever seen. He’s only been in town for less than two weeks, and the entire school was in love with him. He had them wrapped around his finger, even if he didn’t realize it. 

Lavi and Lenalee were constantly spamming their small group chat about him. And as much as the stupid short stack annoyed him…

He couldn’t deny the weird feeling that was beginning to blossom in his chest. And let’s not forget the familiarity Allen carried. Yuu just couldn’t figure it out, but he knew that he’d met Allen at some point before all of this.

But the question was, when? When had he ever seen someone like  _ him?  _

Yuu had been appreciating the beansprout’s outfit when he suddenly put his hands into his pockets.

The fucking short stack’s face had gone a beautiful shade of pink, and Yuu contemplated all the ways he could replicate that exact expression and color. 

“And I noticed that you limp slightly too, would you like me to look at that too?” Tiedoll asked, and Yuu raised an eyebrow. 

What had he missed from this conversation? What were they even talking about? 

“I don’t think that’s really necessary. I’ve already had my arm and leg looked over by several doctors,” 

_ What? He was really missing something from all of this. _

“If you ever find yourself in pain…” Tiedoll told him slowly, “Don’t hesitate to call me, I should be able to relieve it,” 

“Thank you for the offer,” 

He didn’t look at Yuu at all, but that only made him want to force the damn short stack to look at him.

“Are you hungry?” Neah asked.

“No,” He said.

Yuu clicked his tongue loudly. “You didn’t even eat lunch,” He told him, “Just fucking eat you dumbass,” 

A look of irritation flashed across his face, before Allen finally took a seat at the table. The four of them sat in silence for a moment until Neah filled the silence with a full-on rant about his job. Tiedoll nodded sympathetically as they ate. Yuu didn’t contribute to any of the conversation, and neither did Allen, who was too busy eating. 

Luckily for them, Neah and Tiedoll talked enough for both of them, and the meal passed with minimal awkwardness on Yuu’s part. 

“So Allen,” Tiedoll turned to him again, and Yuu watched as Allen’s face went a little pale. “Neah tells me that you play more than just piano. Would you play something for me?” 

Yuu really hoped he would. 

* * *

  
  


He dreamt of the deep, heart-wrenching sound of the cello as that short stack played. 

The next day he went to school, the short stack’s popularity only seemed to increase. And he was angry. Angry because more and more people were walking up to him proclaiming their love. ~~(Of course, more people approached Yuu, but that wasn’t the point).~~

Something ugly twisted in his chest, as he watched Tanabe ~~(Pudding Prince)~~ practically got on his knees like he was about to propose. Lenalee who had been standing next to Allen had gotten really red in the face. 

And from Yuu’s side, Lavi choked on his coffee. “Allen-kun,” Pudding Prince said his name in such a way that had Yuu’s face twisting in disgust. “Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?” 

Yuu’s teeth were grinding together angrily. Why was he so mad? ~~(He decided not to think about it, as Allen responded).~~

“Uhm, unfortunately, I’m going to have to decline. I’ve got too much going on at the moment to go on dates,” Allen let him down gently. “I appreciate the offer though! That took a lot of courage!” 

Pudding Prince wipes away his tears, but he doesn’t look spiteful in the least. 

“Che,” Yuu clicked his tongue loudly, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the hall. 

“Oh?” Someone whispered, “Is the rivalry between the Ice Prince and the Sunshine Prince finally starting?” 

“Oh! I can’t wait to see what will happen!” 

Yuu tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and gave the stupid Moyashi a glare. He didn’t even balk in the least. In fact, he only seemed to smile a little wider. He looked smug. 

_ “Kyaaa! _ They’re glaring at each other! I might faint!” 

“Do I sense a blooming romance—? Ow!” Someone else had begun to say, but their friend had obviously elbowed her in the side. 

Yuu turned away without looking back, and Lenalee followed him faithfully. “He’s almost as popular as you are, Kanda-kun,” 

“I know,” Yuu bit out painfully. “It pisses me off,” 

“Is the Ice Prince concerned that his reign might be coming to an end?” Lenalee asked mischievously, walking backward to get a good look at his expression.

His face twisted into something ugly. “That’s not going to happen.” 

And yet? 

He couldn’t pinpoint why, but that wasn’t why he was so angry. Lenalee turned around and walked a few paces in front of him. He couldn’t see that she was smiling like she just won the lottery. 

Kanda Yuu had no idea what was coming.


	5. Cristofori's Dream (David Lanz)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is currently 3:20am and I only glanced through this before updating :DDDD

Yuu couldn’t dream of anything except the damn beansprout’s delicate, thin fingers. The way they seemed to caress the piano as if it was more than just an instrument to create sound. The way they held a bow with practiced ease, sliding elegantly along the strings of either a cello or violin. 

~~(He never called anyone Moyashi anymore. Not after what he’d done to him. And now? He couldn’t even remember the damn Moyashi’s real name. He could never apologize. Never fix things between them).~~

His dreams were ~~(haunted)~~ blessed by the beansprout’s music, and how he’d smile shyly when too many people watched him play. Or how he’d blush in the hallways when a stranger would ask him out on a date, or how he’d smile at everyone no matter who they were. Or how he’d make sure everyone was included in everything he did. 

The damn short stack was a much better person than Yuu was, and it was beginning to piss him off. He’d just come waltzing into the school and decided it would be a _great idea_ if he just destroyed everything Yuu tried so hard to create. 

~~(Truth be told, he wanted it destroyed).~~

He wanted to watch as those delicate, kind hands destroyed his reign with kindness and compassion that Yuu obviously _lacked—_

“Yuu-chan!” Lavi exclaimed rather loudly while they sat in art class, only two doors down from the only music room in the school. “What’s got you so down, lately?” 

“Che,” Yuu replied shortly, glaring at the empty canvas before him. Usually, he’d have paint all over his hands at this point. At this point, his face would have splotches of bright-colored paint, and his hair would be pulled into a high ponytail. Today, there was nothing. 

_Dancing, gliding fingers. The soft sound of the piano in the distance—_

“Do you hear that?” One of the other art students whispered, and Yuu tilted his head in response. So he wasn’t just going crazy, imagining the sound of the short stack playing all on his own? 

That was reassuring, he assumed. 

It was soft, with an undertone of sadness. But no… in reality the entire piece was melancholy. It held a deep, aching sadness. The deep, darker notes of the piano mixed beautifully with the occasional bright, sharper notes. 

He could already imagine someone sitting at the rarely used, school-issued piano that no one even knew how to play. ~~(By a simple process of elimination, that left only one person in the entire student body that knew how to play. The fucking beansprout).~~

Yuu left his paints alone, settling for the rough, calloused feel of charcoal. He could imagine it in his mind. How Allen was slightly hunched over the piano, with gloves over his hands to hide _something,_ but Yuu had no idea what it was. He feet sitting lightly on the petals near his feet, and his eyes alight with that _obsession_ that only other artists could understand. 

_To never stop moving, even when nothing comes to you. To keep pushing for perfection, even when you’re not motivated or there’s no spark to push you. Some call it writer's block, but it’s purely a lack of energy. But no matter what, your obsession runs so deep that you’ll stare at the keys, not producing a sound for hours. Or maybe for others, it's a canvas. Or an empty document without a single word written._

Yuu knew that kind of obsession from the deepest part of him. The artist part of him that wouldn’t let him sleep unless he did _something._ Even if it was staring at his older works for twenty minutes, or setting up an empty canvas, only for it to stay empty for three whole months. 

At least he wasn’t forgetting it. Or pretending he was never an artist in the first place. It was sitting still, yes, but he never forgot it. 

Yuu gripped it with both hands and held it close. Even if it wouldn’t net him any money, or provide him with a career, he held on to it, because it was his _obsession._

It was the only thing that made sense to him. The only thing— no matter how painful it was —that made life worth the struggle. The self-loathing. The hatred. The loneliness that came with rejecting everyone within arm's length. 

The bean sprout felt that. They were the same. And god, it made Yuu _pissed_. 

Pissed because no matter how kind his smile was, or compassionate his words… 

Yuu could see the mask. The “Allen” mask, even though he’d rarely had the chance to speak with the damn idiot. Everyone around him didn’t seem to see it, and if they somehow _did_ they ignored it. The boy behind the mask who was crying, who was broken, holding onto the _one thing that made any fucking sense._

The piano. Music. Art. 

Allen Walker was no different than he was, and maybe, just maybe, that’s why Yuu hated him so _much._ He didn’t want anyone to feel the way he felt. He didn’t want anyone to be completely alone like he was. 

He pressed the stick of charcoal to the canvas and _ravaged it._

Rough music notes emitting from the instrument. A figure hunched over the piano at Allen’s side, merely a silhouette. There were no distinguishing features on the man sitting next to the bean sprout on the piano bench. 

Just a ghost. Perhaps it was Mana? Allen’s foster father? 

He didn’t know. It just flowed onto the canvas like water, and as soon as he had started the rough sketch was finished. And it was perfect the way it was. 

He realized a little too late that he wasn’t in his personal studio— _his room_ —when Lavi gasped in mock shock. Lavi had seen him zone out like this before. He was just being annoying on purpose. 

“Che, what’s your fucking problem, idiot?” Yuu snapped, leaning back in his chair menacingly to glare at the fucking rabbit in question. 

“N-n-nothing!” Lavi exclaimed, swallowing thickly, but it was more for the act rather than out of fear. Lavi and Lenalee were admittedly the only two in the entire school who weren’t falling at his feet or running in the other direction. ~~(Remind him of anyone?)~~ “It’s just… That’s Allen, right?” 

He clicked his tongue in annoyance and pressed his lips together in a thin line. “The fuck does it look like? Of course, it’s the damn bean sprout,” 

He didn’t see Lavi’s smirk. He blocked it out entirely as he analyzed his piece. Perfect. Or maybe he was just saying that because it had come out so well for it just being a roughly done sketch of a scene he’d only dreamt of for this past week. 

~~(He needed to study for his exams. Not dream of some white-haired bean sprout with beautiful hands and soft smile that could fool everyone _but_ him—) ~~

The bell rang, signalling the end of their elective period. In all honesty he wasn’t sure why the stupid rabbit even bothered to take art. He could’ve and should’ve taken a different elective class, but he’d insisted on art. Did he even do the work? Was he there just to watch Yuu draw? 

That fucking idiot. 

Lavi grinned as Yuu threw a sheet over the art with his name written in perfect Japanese in the center. He would pick up at some point during the week, but right now he had to head to their last class of the day. 

Which was lucky for him and probably Lavi. That meant that they could go into the library to study. Yuu threw his bag on his shoulder and glared at Lavi for good measure. “Let’s go fucking study,” 

“So aggressive Yuu-chan!” Lavi exclaimed, throwing his arm around Yuu’s shoulders. He bristled with annoyance. “No wonder people—”

“I would suggest,” Yuu muttered coldly, detaching himself from the pushy red-head with no sense of personal space. “That you get the _fuck off me,_ and bother someone else with all your cuddling,” 

Lavi just laughed, as Yuu glared icy daggers at him. “Fine! Fine! I’ll go find Allen, and make him help me study! If I see Lena-Lady I’ll send her your way to help you out,”

“I don’t need help studying,” Yuu bit out angrily, “I can do it _by myself,”_

Fucking annoying. Stupid fucking rabbit—

“Or,” Lavi’s smirk was too mischievous as he dragged out the r, “I could get Allen to help you?” 

“I will stab you, idiot rabbit,” Yuu snapped coldly, his mouth twisting into a sneer. “Don’t think I won’t,” 

“Aww, c’mon Yuu-chan! You haven’t brought Mugen to class since our Freshman year,” 

“Don’t make me go get it,” Yuu threatened, his grip on his bag tightening. “You’ll suffice, I guess,” 

“Yay! I get to study with you!” Lavi exclaimed, as they finally reached the library. Yuu scanned the quiet space, filled with nothing but dust and pages that most people wouldn’t bother to read unless it was to help them study. 

Farther within the large room were empty tables, but they had to pass between the rows and rows of bookshelves. Dust was gathering on the very tops of them, but Yuu didn’t really care. What had caught his eye was the fucking beansprout sitting at one of the tables in a secluded corner. The desk itself had probably never been used at all, due to where it had been positioned. 

It wasn’t with the other tables. Instead, it had been placed between two rows of bookshelves with less than ideal lighting, but that didn’t seem to bother the fucking short stack at all. In fact, he seemed so engrossed in the pile of books before him that he didn’t notice that he was being watched. 

He had his white bangs clipped back onto his head, making it much easier for him to see. Any normal person would’ve also pushed up their sleeves as they combed through books like he seemed to be doing, but the damn shorty wasn’t like anyone else. 

He was biting on his lip as he scribbled things into his notebook, his silver eyes glancing back and forth between the textbook and his notes. 

Yuu pretended not to notice any of this, and instead made his way to another, more open table. 

Lavi quickly switched into “Teaching-Mode” as he so sweetly dubbed it, and ventured into the bookshelves to find the textbooks they’d need to pass all the tests. Yuu sat himself down with an annoyed huff and tapped his mechanical pencil to the page of his empty notebook.

_Empty._ Just like his chest.

* * *

All he could think about was passing this upcoming test. Or at least that’s what he’d originally been worried about, until Kanda Yuu himself came into his classroom the next day, to glare at him like Allen had done something horrible. Something absolutely unforgivable.

He tried and failed to remember anything he could have possibly done to set Kanda off, but nothing came to mind instantly. Maybe he’d been too flashy and dramatic when he’d played something for Tiedoll the other day when they came over for dinner? 

Or did he just not enjoy classical music? Or had he said something wrong? 

_Or…_ He thought with a flood of dread. _Did he suddenly remember who Allen was? Was his plan falling apart before he could even begin to execute it?_

“Kanda,” Allen greeted smoothly like he wasn’t having a heart attack internally. “Did you need something?” 

His smile was sickly sweet, and Kanda’s scowl deepened. Allen shifted in his seat slightly before Kanda slammed a note onto his desk. 

_Let’s make a bet. If I get a higher score than you on the test you’ll have to go on a date with me. ~Allen_

He wiped away his look of utter shock instantly. At first glance, he recognized his own hand-writing, but it was slightly rougher than his usual print. A little too quick and loose to be his. Someone had written this and put his fucking name on it. 

And he had only two guesses as to who it was. It could either be Lenalee, who was finding the ceiling _really_ interesting at the moment, or Lavi who was scratching his head while glaring at his algebra homework. 

And honestly? It could be _either_ of them. 

“The fuck is this?” Kanda asked, his voice ice-cold and snappish. Allen smiled softly. 

“Can’t you tell? I want to make a bet with you,” Allen replied like this wasn’t news to him too. “If I score higher than you on the upcoming exams, then you’ll go on a date with me,” 

He tilted his head to the side, twirling a lock of his hair around his gloved finger. ~~(Fuck. This was going downhill so fast).~~

“How does that sound, Kanda?” 

Kanda clicked his tongue loudly and his glare seemed to get even fiercer than before. “And if I win?” He grumbled as if he couldn’t be bothered. But Allen saw the sparkle of a challenge in Kanda’s eyes. He was eager, and suddenly so was Allen.

“You can make your terms Kanda,” Allen told him behind his gloved hand that was nonchalantly hiding his wobbling smile. ~~(Nervous, nervous, nervous. This was a bad idea. In fact, this was a terrible fucking idea and he was going to yell at Lenalee about later).~~

“Good,” Kanda growled, and Allen fought the urge to drop his smile entirely. The muscles in his gut clenched with anxiety, but he kept up his facade. Kanda leaned into his personal space with a winning smirk and grabbed his hand that was still fidgeting and twirling his hair around his finger. 

Allen froze instantly, his eyes wide with surprise as Kanda very slowly ~~(he was doing it on purpose, like the fucking asshole he was)~~ tucked the lock behind Allen’s ear. 

His fingers grazed the curve of Allen’s ear, and if that didn’t make him _really_ red in the fucking face… then Kanda’s hand trailing along his jaw only to tilt his chin up made it so _much worse._

_His. Brain. Just. Stopped. Working._

He could hardly think, let alone breathe as Kanda whispered in his ear. “You’ll just have to wait and see what I want from all this, _won’t you?”_

Allen’s face was _hot. Really, really, hot._

Kanda’s voice had gone low and husky with an emotion Allen wasn’t brave enough to name, but damn… He was really good at hitting on people. No wonder he had the entire school falling at his feet like he was a God or something. 

Because if someone was constantly doing _that,_ then how the hell were you supposed to keep yourself from falling? 

~~(Oh shit).~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAAHAHAHAA


	6. Feverish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a shitty chapter lowkey, but its got hints of Yullen~

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t worried about these exams. Kanda hadn’t even made his intentions  _ clear  _ and that was probably the most terrifying thing about this entire bet. Allen had no idea what Kanda wanted from him. 

He dropped his head onto his desk, covering his face as soon as Kanda had left. There was a few seconds of deafening silence before Lavi finally let out a long, impressed whistle. 

“Damn, he really didn’t pull any punches with that, did he?”

That was the fucking understatement of the year, if Allen ever heard one. “What’d he say to you?” Lenalee asked, and Allen groaned loudly. 

“Why did you give him that note?!” He asked instead of answering. “Why wouldn’t you tell me?!”

“I wanted to see what would happen,” Lenalee told him honestly, turning around in her seat to pat him on the head. “You took it in stride. And now you’ve got a chance to date him!” 

“But what does he want for his side of the bet?” Lavi asked eagerly. “He  _ did _ tell you, right?” 

“Sort of?” Allen grumbled, but he couldn’t bring himself to lift his head. “He was kind of vague, as in I’ll figure it out once I lose?” 

“What?!” Lavi screeched, sounding horrified. “He didn’t even come up with his own terms?” 

Allen groaned again, and Lenalee laughed. “That just means you’ll have to win, Allen-kun,” 

“BUT YUU-CHAN HAS THE BEST GRADES IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL!” Lavi yelled in horror, and Lenalee rolled her eyes at his antics. 

“Allen got a hundred percent on the entrance exam, or did you forget that already?” Lenalee told him calmly, “As long as he studies there shouldn’t be a problem,” 

Allen rubbed his temples in annoyance. It shouldn’t be a problem, but god he was beginning to feel a little sick. Worry settled itself in his gut, taking permanent residence there. What if he bombed the test on accident? 

What if he got sick and therefore had to take supplementary classes either way? 

He hated all of this already. 

* * *

  
  
  


Allen spent the next few days left before the exam studying in the library. He was determined to win the bet and avoid whatever Kanda would force him to do. He wasn’t too keen on getting caught up in  _ that  _ clusterfuck waiting to happen. 

Who knows what Kanda would have him do? He didn’t want to find out, and for his revenge to finally come to fruition he’d have to score perfectly on the exam. He really, really needed to go on this date with Kanda to get things rolling. 

And hopefully, Kanda would finally learn his lesson. ~~(But was this what he truly wanted? He didn’t know).~~

Was revenge his only avenue? Couldn’t he just forget it and move on, like he’d done with everyone else? No. He couldn’t because Kanda had been the catalyst for all of this. Everytime Allen looked back in his life trying to decide where it had all gone wrong, Kanda was at the center of it. 

And it didn’t help that Kanda rejected people publicly and humiliated the student body on the daily. It didn’t help that Kanda was honestly an asshole most of the time and cared for no one but himself. 

The list as to why he should do it was much longer than why he _shouldn’t._

~~ (He was just as bad a person as Kanda. He knew this already).  ~~

So he sat in the library during every free period in hopes that he would ace the exams with no problem. The only problem with studying at school was that everyone wanted to bother him constantly. They were asking him out on dates, which he politely declined every time. Or they were asking him for help on a certain section of the review. 

And he didn’t have the heart to tell any of them no. Which led to his current mess that he was dealing with. At some point he’d acquired a mob of people who were begging for help, and they’d pushed together a ton of tables so that they were all sitting together. 

He was beginning to regret being so nice to everyone. Libraries were supposed to be  _ quiet,  _ but this one was definitely not that. Everyone was talking over each other, shoving their homework in the way of Allen’s own work. 

He tried his hardest to answer everyone’s questions and work it out for them in a way that made sense to them, but he wasn’t a teacher. He had no idea how to break down a subject to its barest parts so that it made sense even to the most challenged of his classmates. 

Everything just made sense to Allen, and if for some reason it didn’t then he studied it until it did. Until he could do it with his eyes closed. 

“Allen-kun, do you know what I did wrong on this problem?” Someone asked, someone whose name he was supposed to remember, but he couldn’t. Not for the life of him. The student in question handed him a loose-leaf paper with a math question scribbled on it, and Allen analyzed it. 

He chewed the inside of his cheek before sighing shortly. The mistake was a small one, and with minimal correction, he guided her to the correct answer without spoon-feeding her everything. 

For the remainder of his free period, his classmates continued to flock to him for help, and Allen helplessly agreed.

All in all, Allen didn’t get in any studying for himself. 

And that led to him staying up late the night before the exams when he got home after an awkward walk with Kanda, which was becoming a daily thing by accident. 

Right now, Allen sat on his low platform bed with his earbuds playing soft classical music as he spread his textbooks out. Sitting in his lap was a packet full of review for the test, but it was completely empty. ~~(He was too nice).~~

Soft ambient classical music played in his earbuds as he painstakingly filled out every question in the packet. He berated himself for not filling out his own work before helping others, but there was no changing that now. 

All he could do was get as much done as possible before the tests tomorrow. So he clipped his bangs back and rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie as he set to work. Hopefully he wouldn’t fail. 

For the next few hours nothing could be heard except for his pencil scribbling things out onto the paper. 

Allen wasn’t even aware of what time it was when he stopped, but he set his pencil down what seemed like maybe an hour or two after he started and put away his school things. He hopped in the shower without checking the time. That was his first mistake. 

Allen turned on the water, on the hottest possible setting. He let the water soothe his aching muscles. 

~~ (His wrist and arm were sore from all the piano practice he’d been doing lately. His leg was getting stiff again because he wasn’t stretching like he used to).  ~~

He pressed his forehead to the wall of the shower. If all went well tomorrow he’d be going on a date with Kanda. He hadn’t actually bothered to think this far ahead. Where did people go when they went on dates? Where would Kanda want to go? 

He was going to kill Lenalee.

* * *

  
  
  


It was just his luck that he woke up with a fever the next day. 

  
  
  


* * *

Yuu had been simultaneously dreading and anticipating today. By the end of the day he’d felt that he’d done pretty well on his tests. 

Well, he was feeling that way until Lavi told him that the damn short was sick, and didn’t even get the chance to take the damn tests. It didn’t feel fair. ~~(Yes, Kanda Yuu had a sense of what was fair and what wasn’t. How shocking).~~

The damn Moy— bean sprout lost the damn bet because he’d gotten sick. Yuu’s face twisted with annoyance as he walked home. Of course he’d choose today of all days to get sick and miss a day of school. _Of_ _fucking course._

But that didn’t explain why Yuu found himself at Neah’s doorstep instead of his own. With medicine no less. 

What was he doing here? They were hardly even acquaintances. They weren’t even friends, but that was mostly Yuu’s fault. He shouldn’t be here, but he could always blame it on Tiedoll if Neah got confused or caught off-guard by his sudden appearance.

He rang on the doorbell and stood there for nearly an entire minute before Neah threw the door open. Yuu narrowed his eyes at him, and Neah suddenly brightened. “I thought you might be Cross,” He said sheepishly. “He ran off after he dropped Allen off and hasn’t been answering my calls… granted he  _ always  _ does that…” 

He was going to ignore whoever this Cross person was, and get straight to the point. “I heard the short stack was sick,” Yuu told him, holding out the bag of medicine. “I figured he’d need some medicine,” 

Neah looked like his soul was about to leave his body. “Oh thank you so much, Kanda-kun!” He exclaimed, “Would you like to come inside—?” 

But he was already dragging Yuu inside without actually asking him. Had Neah always been this pushy, or was he just now starting to notice it? He repressed the urge to bare his teeth at him defiantly, rather than step foot inside. 

It was too late. Neah had dragged him through the doorway and was talking  _ non-stop.  _ Yuu didn’t even have the brainpower to follow everything Neah was even saying, as the man kept droning on and on. ~~(yeah, he was being mean, but Neah~~ _~~never stopped talking).~~ _

“—Would you mind taking that medicine up to Allen? He’s in his room. It’s the one at the very top of the stairs,” 

_ Maybe I should’ve paid attention after all.  _

It was a little too late for that, though. He sighed heavily trudging up the stairs with the medicine in hand. Of course Neah would rope him into taking medicine to his nephew. Of course. 

~~ (He didn’t mind).  ~~

Yuu knocked on the door as he finally came to stand in front of it. There was a soft, “Come in,” and Yuu opened the door without a second thought. 

The short stack was sitting up in his bed, with his legs tangled in the sheets. He looked a mess. ~~(It was hot)~~. ~~(No it wasn’t).~~

His white bangs were clipped back with a single clippie that was beginning to come undone, and his eyes were half-lidded with exhaustion. His cheeks were brushed with a soft pink from the fever, and his jacket that he was wearing was falling off one of his shoulders, showing off his pale white skin. 

~~ (His arm was thin, just like the rest of him. Lithe and delicate, and so, so deliciously beautiful—) ~~

He blinked at Yuu twice before he seemed to realize who he was. “Why are you in my room?” He asked, not bothering to move at all. Yuu was trying his best not to stare at the bits of the exposed leg that weren’t tangled in his sheets. “Are you here to brag?” 

“Tch,” Yuu clicked his tongue loudly. “I brought medicine for you, and your damn uncle made me bring it up to you,” 

The bean sprout nodded in understanding. “Just…” He finally fixed his jacket, albeit slowly. Like he was too tired to care. “Put it over there, I guess? On my desk… Thank you,” 

He scanned the room, following the bean sprouts pointing hand.

Yuu nearly did what had been asked of him until the damn idiot got out of his bed. He swayed on his feet for a second, before rubbing his forehead. He was still wearing his gloves, and Yuu’s curiosity got the better of him. 

“About the bet, though,” Yuu began, “I’ve decided it’s a draw. I’ll go on a date with you, but you’ve also got to fill my side of the bet,” 

The short stack glanced at him and gave him a slight nod. “That’s fine,” He told him hoarsely, walking across the room to where Yuu stood. He held out his hands, and Yuu furrowed his brow. “You can just give me the medicine now,” 

“Why are you even up?” Yuu asked, moving the bottle out of the short stack’s reach. “You should be in bed,” 

_ Stupid ass is sick, and insists on doing everything himself anyway.  _

“It’s just a fever,” He mumbled, even though he seemed hardly capable of keeping his eyes open. “I’ll live,” 

He coughed and hid it behind his gloved hands. He didn’t quite look Yuu in the face as he spoke. “Seriously, you can just give me the medicine and leave—” 

His words were cut off by a fit of coughs. Yuu resisted the urge to grimace in sympathy as the white-haired teen swayed on his feet uneasily. Except this time he didn’t righten himself on time, and crashed right into Yuu’s chest. 

For a second, Yuu’s brain stopped working as the short stack’s head fell against his collarbone. He definitely wasn't blushing. 

“Sorry…” He said softly, “I just… got dizzy,” 

Yuu sighed. He’d tell him about his side of the bet tomorrow.

  
~~(He wasn't enjoying this. Not one bit).~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to have a scene where Allen was sick <3 (im a simp for sick prompts.) The next chapter will have their bets played out in action! (With scalding hot tea).


	7. Piano Duets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just two dads. Tryin to set their sons up. Ya kno, the usual lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyeeeee this one is much better than chapter 6 >:0

Allen could hardly remember what happened yesterday when Kanda had come over to deliver medicine. For all he was worth, Allen could only remember up until Kanda started talking about Uncle Neah. After that, everything was blank. 

He woke up in his bed this morning, with a bottle of medicine that had been opened on his nightstand. His phone had been put on the charger, but he vividly remembered that it originally wasn’t. 

Huh. He was even wearing his gloves.

In the end, he just took his phone off the charger and headed downstairs. He felt much better than he had yesterday morning. Allen could smell breakfast being made from where he was standing on the landing of the stairs. 

He could also hear Neah humming a light tune as he made the food. Allen smiled warmly, ignoring the twinge of guilt that came with remembering that he left Neah alone for eight years after Mana’s death. That was something to cry over when he was in his bedroom at six in the morning with no sleep.

Yeah. He could cry about that later.  ~~(Even though the mere thought of what it must've felt like to be abandoned like that hurt. Hurt like nothing else Allen had ever felt). (Except maybe the accident).~~

But now he was here to possibly make amends. They hadn’t exactly spoken about what Allen had done but it weighed on both of them heavily. He could tell. 

Neah always made a point to have some sort of noise in the background while he wasn’t working. Humming, singing, playing a CD. Anything. Anything to fill the void of loneliness that had crept on him like a predator lying in wait. 

Mana’s death was a surprise for both of them. And Allen’s injuries as a result weren’t accounted for either. He pressed his lips into a thin line and made it down the second set of stairs and into the kitchen. He had today and tomorrow off, so maybe he could talk to Neah about it sometime before the weekend was over? 

Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. For now, he’d eat breakfast and enjoy Neah’s presence. He would make sure Neah  _ never _ felt that alone ever again. 

He couldn’t bear to try and put himself in Neah’s shoes. It hurt. It hurt too much, and it felt like the weight of the world was on his chest. So, so heavy. It made him want to scream. 

The world seemed to be crashing down around him in waves. Wave after wave of searing pain assaulted his chest. 

All of Neah’s pain had been his fault. That’s why he’d had Tiedoll and Kanda come over so often— he’d inferred that they came over often before Allen arrived here —because Neah couldn’t take the loneliness. 

His chest ached with a lack of oxygen. He’d paused in the doorway where Neah was still humming and bustling around the kitchen. He was opening the rice cooker, and a waft of steam billowed out of it in a cloud. 

Allen could hardly fathom how it must’ve felt.

Your brother abruptly dies, and your nephew barely made it out alive. And then as soon as he's recovered he goes to America because even  _ he _ can't bear being in the house where Mana used to live. And now you're alone. And there's nothing but silence. 

So you try to fill that silence— that loneliness that  _ aches _ at you like an open wound —with anything. With music. With humming. With singing, but you won't forget. You'll never forget how it used to be. When your nephew and brother filled the house with so much happiness only for it to be ripped away. 

Only for your only living family to abandon you for eight long years.

_ Allen couldn’t imagine that kind of pain.  _

Suffering so profound—

“Allen?” Neah asked suddenly, breaking Allen out of his very depressing train of thought. “Why are you crying?” 

But all he could think of was how much  _ Neah _ must’ve cried. He couldn’t be bothered with how his chest was aflame with guilt and shame. He just needed to say it. 

Neah crossed the room with silent steps, swift and sure. His expression, however, was anything but that. He looked uneasy and concerned. He wiped away Allen’s tears with his thumbs as soon as he was close enough. 

Allen swallowed thickly, hating how tight his throat had gotten. Hating how his body throbbed with phantom pains from eight years ago. 

“What’s wrong?” Neah asked gently, guiding him to the table. Set on it was a glass of tea just the way Allen liked it, and in the middle of the table was a plate of neatly cut and rolled tamagoyaki. Neah went over to the counter and grabbed the two bowls of steaming rice and placed them on the table. 

He sat himself down next to Allen and waited. 

It took him a moment to compose himself enough to be able to speak. “Neah…” He started, ignoring the scratching pain in his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m  _ so sorry,”  _

“Sorry for what?” Neah asked, holding Allen’s shoulders comfortingly. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything—”

_ “But I do!”  _ Allen exclaimed, covering his face with his hands. He couldn’t see anything past the tears anyway.  _ “There’s so much I need to apologize about!  _ I’ve done so many horrible things to you— I— I  _ left  _ you! I should’ve been there for you. I shouldn’t have gone to America at all. You were all alone, Uncle Neah, in this house,” 

Neah said nothing, so he kept going. It tumbled out of his mouth, falling flat on the floor. “For eight years. Eight years where I went to school in a different country that I  _ hated—  _ I could’ve been here with you. But I was so selfish. I couldn’t bear to stay here when all I could think about was how Mana was gone, but I should’ve been thinking about you. I should’ve stayed with you, but instead, I left and I didn’t look back for almost ten years. How could you ever forgive someone for doing that to you—?”

“You were hardly even  _ nine _ , Allen,” Neah said sternly, prying his hands away from his face. He wiped away his tears as Allen’s lower lip trembled. “You were a child at the time, and I could hardly blame you for any decisions you made at that age,” 

Allen couldn’t bear to look at him. 

“I would’ve loved it if you came home earlier, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I wasn’t in the right headspace to raise you all that well, but considering how Cross raised you I wouldn’t have done too bad—”

He laughed shortly, but it was hardly a joyous laugh. Neah gave him a weak grin. “I may have been alone, but I had Tiedoll and Kanda to keep me company. Especially in the first few years, when Tiedoll was just beginning to teach Kanda-kun how to paint. I love you Allen, and I respected your decision to leave. You’re here now, and that’s what matters isn’t it?” 

Neah ruffled his hair, and Allen rubbed at his face with a deep sigh. “Now, let’s eat before everything gets cold!” 

Allen chewed on his rice absently as Neah devoured his portion of tamagoyaki. They ate in comfortable silence as he thought over everything Neah had said. 

His chest felt infinitely lighter than it had earlier this morning. He knew he didn’t deserve to have his horrible decision pushed away like it hadn’t hurt Neah in the slightest. ~~(He knew it did. Neah was just trying to make him feel less guilty).~~

Allen was still determined to fix things, or at least make them better, so as soon as they were done eating he helped Neah wash everything and put the dishes away. When they were done, Neah turned to him. 

“Do you have any plans this morning?” Allen asked tentatively.

“I have plans with Tiedoll later this afternoon,” Neah mumbled, “But other than that, I’ve got nothing. Why do you ask?” 

“Well…” Allen chewed on the inside of his cheek, gesturing weakly to the door leading to the music room. “I was wondering if you’d want to play with me?” 

The way Neah’s entire face lit up was answer enough, in Allen’s eyes. 

* * *

  
  


Froi Tiedoll was used to seeing many things when using his spare key to get into Neah’s house. He’d seen Neah passed out drunk on his couch, with tears staining one of the throw pillows. He’d seen Neah curled up on the couch holding onto a stuffed animal for dear life as he watched horror movies, too scared to get up and answer the door. 

He had seen Neah sitting at his kitchen table with earbuds in, perfecting his latest piece. 

He’d seen him playing the piano, but he rarely looked overjoyed playing it. Not since Mana’s death. So one would imagine his surprise— and his adoptive son Kanda’s surprise as well —upon entering the home to hear  [ music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkGJJymr93s) . 

And not just any kind of music. At first, Froi thought it must’ve been Allen who was playing, but as he and Kanda ventured into the music room— they were practically family, Neah didn’t care where they went in his house —he realized he was wrong. 

The two of them sat at the piano bench together and Froi couldn’t resist the smile tugging at his lips. They were playing  _ together.  _

It warmed his soul, as Neah reached his hand over to ruin Allen’s part. 

In response, Allen muttered just loud enough for all of them to hear, “Neah if you fuck up my part one more time—!”

“Loosen up a bit, Allen,” Neah replied, “You don’t have to play every piece exactly how it’s written, where’s the fun in that?!”

“Says the man who would cry when I played twinkle twinkle little star wrong,” Allen retorted, not even batting an eye as his fingers danced across the keys. 

“But that song’s so easy!” 

“Maybe for you, Neah!” 

“Aw c’mon Allen you know you’re so much better at the piano than I am,” Neah told him and Froi could tell that he was smiling widely. 

From beside him, Kanda looked like he’d been thrown through a loop as Neah and Allen smoothly transitioned from their current song to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. 

It was only after they’d finally stopped playing for a few seconds that Froi decided now was as good time as any to get Neah’s attention. 

“Neah,” He said, startling both of them, “You didn’t answer the door, so we let ourselves in,” 

Allen nearly fell off the stool in shock, but Neah had steadied him at the last second. “I didn’t even hear it,” Neah admitted, “We were a bit…” 

“Distracted,” Allen said when it was clear that Neah wasn’t going to finish his sentence as he grabbed his phone. 

“IT’S ALREADY NOON?!” Neah exclaimed, suddenly, and Froi grinned at him, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Yes,” He told him, “It is,” 

“You should’ve called me!” 

“I figured I would just drop by, instead,” Froi replied, “I wanted to see how Allen was doing after getting that fever yesterday,” 

“I’m perfectly fine,” Allen replied instantly, with a small smile. “I just stayed up late trying to study, and then I missed taking the test anyway… So I’ll be stuck in supplementary classes,” 

“Lavi will be too,” Kanda mumbled gruffly. He’d crossed his arms at some point. “He fell asleep during the testing because he was up too late reading, and he failed,” 

“Yikes,” Allen muttered. Froi smiled. He indeed looked perfectly healthy.

“It’s his own damn fault,” 

“Language, Yuu,” Froi told him softly, and Kanda glared at him. 

“Che,” 

Neah didn’t even bat an eye at Kanda’s behavior, and Froi was sure Allen heard much worse while in America. Neah turned to face Allen, looking conflicted. “Are you going to be okay by yourself?” 

Allen smiled and shook his head in exasperation. “Of course I’ll. Cross would leave me alone a lot when he was running from his debt collectors,” 

“I’ll have to talk to him about that,” 

“It can’t be any worse than that time—”   
  


“I’m seriously regretting letting Cross take care of you,” Neah said with a heavy sigh. “I can’t hear anymore without hunting him down and beating his ass,” 

Allen snorted. “All I’m saying is that I’m really good at poker, Neah,” 

_ “Allen why?! Why the hell do you even know how to play poker?” _

“I thought you didn’t want to hear anymore, Uncle,” He smirked, and Froi didn’t miss how Kanda’s eyebrow quirked up in response. 

“Please,” Neah begged, glancing at Kanda. Kanda himself seemed to not notice, but Froi definitely saw it. “For my sanity, let’s not bring up Cross until I can give him a piece of my mind. Are you sure you’ll be fine by yourself?” 

“Kanda could stay if you’d like!” Froi volunteered, and he hid his smirk when Kanda glared at him. 

“Perfect, let’s go!” Neah exclaimed, and Froi smiled. 

  
~~(Of course, all of this had been planned from the start).~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now I swear the next chapter will be them going on a date and fulfilling their bets lol


	8. All Bets Are On! And Shit Hits The Fan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will start off by saying its 7 am and I haven't slept and this probably makes zero sense.

It was awkward. He and Kanda had moved from the music room to the living room, and Kanda didn’t take his eyes off of him for a second. Not even as he took a seat on the couch, and Allen stood there awkwardly, unsure of what exactly to do.

It was strange, being watched by Kanda like this for no apparent reason. It made him nervous, for more reasons than one. One, because Kanda was so undeniably attractive, and to have someone of that _caliber_ looking at him made him all flustered. And two, because he was worried that Kanda would suddenly recognize him as “Moyashi.”

Allen glanced at him curiously. “I-is something the matter Kanda-kun?” He asked. 

“Hmph,” the taller teen replied shortly. “About our bet…” 

Allen pressed his lips into a thin line and gave him a wearily look. “Yes?”

“Since Tiedoll and Neah are out…” Kanda’s face has twisted into something akin to constipation. He really didn’t want to be doing this, huh? 

~~(Allen was beginning to feel the same way. He didn’t want to hurt Kanda).~~

“We could go through with your bet,” He finished, glaring at Allen like he had personally offended him. 

~~(He definitely had).~~

Allen chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Well, what would you like to do?” 

He was secretly hoping that Kanda had something in mind, seeing how Allen had never gone on a real date before. If worse came to worst, then they could just go see a movie that was playing nearby. Or maybe they could— 

“I don’t really care,” Kanda mumbled, and Allen turned away for a moment just so he didn’t have to make direct eye-contact with him for any longer. That turned out to be a mistake, apparently because Kanda liked to have Allen’s full attention it seemed. 

He glanced at Kanda only to realize that he’d gotten up from the couch and crossed the room. Allen’s eyes widened in shock as Kanda slammed his hand into the wall just above Allen’s shoulder and leaned into his bubble of personal space. 

_Eh?_

He could feel Kanda’s breath on his neck, and he shivered. “We can do anything you want,” 

_And if that wasn’t the most suggestive thing Kanda had ever said to him—_

Allen’s face was on fire, and he quickly averted his gaze as Kanda’s deep, cold cobalt eyes locked with his own. They seemed to challenge him, and he _really_ wasn’t up for it. ~~(He was beginning to feel strange sensations in his gut. His stomach muscles clenched, and his skin was getting hot beneath his hoodie).~~

Kanda’s hand cupped Allen’s chin and he was forced to look at him. He was smirking like he was winning a game. ~~(He was winning. He was definitely winning at making him a complete wreck).~~

“Don’t look away from me,” Kanda breathed, and Allen might as well have melted on impact. His mouth went dry, and he swallowed thickly. He might as well have been on fire. Kanda was impossibly close to him, and he didn’t seem to realize the effect it was having on him. Or maybe he did, and he thought it was funny. 

Either way Allen was reeling from it, and Kanda just kept smirking. “W-we—” His voice was thin and high-pitched. Kanda’s smirk widened in satisfaction. “We could go to the museum? S-s-since you like art?” 

He hated how that ended up sounding like a question, and in all honesty it sounded like a lame date. But it was the only thing he could think of, with Kanda this close to him. The air between them felt electrified, and he hated it.

Because he wasn’t supposed to fall for Kanda. He wasn’t supposed to be catching feelings. This wasn’t part of the plan, but it was happening. It was all happening so fast and Allen couldn’t stop this trainwreck. 

He could vividly see how this train was about to derail, but he felt frozen. ~~(Did he care enough to stop it in the first place?)~~

~~(The answer was no).~~

“Hm,” Kanda hummed, before taking a greatly appreciated step back. Allen could only survive so long being that close. “Wouldn’t you get bored?” 

He asked that, but he didn’t look like he really cared one way or another. The stoic mask was back. 

“No, I actually like looking at art,” Allen told him, furrowing his brow. Kanda glared at him for a few seconds before he finally sighed. 

“Fine, but if you get bored don’t expect me to care,” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Allen replied with a smirk. 

He didn’t see how Kanda hid a genuine smile behind a half-assed smirk.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Yuu was falling for him the second his eyes lit up when they got to the portrait section. How he identified the paintings on sight with almost one hundred percent accuracy. 

~~(It was hot).~~

He wanted to paint that smile, those eyes, and that mysterious scar. Yuu wanted to feel the smooth silk of Allen’s skin beneath his hands. He wanted to waste hours trying to do that body justice as he tried to recreate it in his art. 

He wanted to agonize over how he could never get it _just right._ But for now he’d settle for watching him from afar. Because right now, the damn short stack was a different breed entirely. 

That was fine. ~~(It wasn’t).~~

* * *

  
  
  


Everything went down-hill after they got back home. He hadn’t expected for Kanda to ask him to do _this_ for his side of the bet. He hadn’t accounted for this, but in hindsight he should’ve. 

It was probably the most obvious bet he could think of for Kanda to ask him, but he still wasn’t prepared. They’d hardly taken a step or two inside the house, when Kanda asked him. 

He froze like a deer in headlights. He curled his hands into fists and stopped walking. 

“Take off your gloves,” 

Such a simple, yet damning bet. If he were a normal person, this bet wouldn’t even cause him to bat an eye. But he wasn’t normal, and he wore these gloves for a reason. He swallowed thickly. 

“A-are you sure you want to see what’s underneath them?” Allen asked, and he could already feel his hands beginning to shake because this was Kanda he was talking about. Of course he was sure. He was sure about anything and everything he did. He was an overly confident asshole who also happened to be slightly narcissistic. 

He knew without a doubt what he wanted, so Allen really didn’t why he bothered to ask at all. “Tch, idiot,” Kanda grumbled, “Of course I do,” 

Allen bit down on his lower lip until he could taste iron on his tongue. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. He’ll figure out who I am if he sees this. It’ll all be over._

His chance for revenge would be dashed before he even got started. Fucking hell. “I don’t—”

“You can’t chicken out on our bet, bean sprout,” Kanda mumbled tersely. “You’re the one who came up with this stupid shit,” 

But the problem was that he didn’t do this. He didn’t plan for any of this, and it was all Lenalee’s fault. If she hadn’t interfered when she did, all of this would be going so differently. He _really_ didn’t want to do this. 

He took a deep breath and turned to face Kanda. “Just so you know,” He muttered with a hint of annoyance and painfully obvious apprehension, “You asked for this,” 

_Kanda asked for this, so it’s his own damn fault._

The taller teen was watching him closely, and Allen didn’t have the balls to look at him as he finally took off his gloves. ~~(He hated his arm. He hated it. He hated it).~~ He took them off one at a time. The first went without incident considering that it was his normal arm without any defects and scar tissue.

He was trembling by the time he got to the other glove, so much so that he could hardly get it off. Once he did ot felt as if the resulting silence was going to kill him. 

Kanda said nothing. “I-It’s your own damn fault,” Allen spat defensively without looking at him. “Go ahead and laugh at me or whatever,” 

More silence. 

He clenched his jaw and finally risked a look up. Kanda’s eyes were wide in surprise, and he almost seemed frozen. Like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing at all. Like he’d seen a ghost. 

“You’re—” He began, and Allen slipped on his gloves quickly. He rubbed his forehead with his hands, trying to smooth out the crease there. _“Fucking Moyashi,”_

* * *

  
  


It had been so long since he thought of those silver eyes. And how they disappeared out of his life with no explanation. 

Except Tiedoll had given him an explanation. 

_“He got hurt, and he’s healing in America,”_

He was pissed that it took him this long to piece it together. 

_“How’d he get hurt?”_

He was fucking stupid. 

_“His arm. It was burned,”_

Yuu’s whole world imploded because the damn Moyashi he promised to apologize to was right in front of him. And all he could feel was anger. 

  
  


Because why did he feel the need to hide it?   
  


* * *

  
  


And. Everything. Stopped. 

His heart practically stopped in his chest and if he wasn’t going to have a panic attack he definitely was on the verge of doing so now. 

“Fuck.” Allen mumbled. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” 

_It wasn’t supposed to go like this. This was a fucking_ **_disaster._ **

“Are you fucking serious—” Kanda growled, and he sneered. “This entire _time—”_

Allen wilted and ran his hands through his hair. His heart was beating too fast, and his breath was coming in too fast. “You weren’t supposed to know. You weren’t supposed to figure it out!” 

_“What?”_ Kanda snapped, grabbing him by the shirt. Allen glared at him, and Kanda matched him with the same intensity. _“I wasn’t supposed to figure it out? What the hell!?”_

“I—I—” Allen began, but Kanda was fucking pissed. 

“What do you mean I wasn’t supposed to know?” Kanda asked, shaking him. 

It pissed him off. All of this was fucking pissing him off because none of this was supposed to happen. Kanda wasn’t supposed to find out who he was. They weren’t supposed to be at each other's throats in the kitchen, with Kanda asking him what the fuck was going on. ~~(He didn’t think to wonder why Kanda was so pissed in the first place. He shouldn’t have mattered to Kanda all that much in the grand scheme of things).~~

“You weren’t— I just—”

“Why? Why does it matter if I knew who you were or not?!” 

“Because!”

“Because _why?!”_ Kanda yelled, and Allen clenched his jaw. He curled his hands into fists and he looked away. “Fucking answer me damn it!” 

“No!” 

“God damn—”  
  


He felt so guilty because he’d been manipulating Kanda this whole time. Kanda was angry, but he was angry for all the wrong reasons. 

He deserved to know. Even if Allen could never get his revenge. ~~(Had he ever wanted it in the first place? No. He hadn’t).~~

“It’s because I wanted to hurt you okay?! You said some fucked up shit to me, and after everything that happened to me after Mana’s death… everyone started to call me a monster like you did. And I _blamed_ you for it! I was nothing but a freak to them in America, and I thought it was all your fault. So I wanted to hurt you! I wanted you to fall for me, and then I’d reject you like you rejected me,” 

He shoved Kanda away. “It would’ve been so much easier if you never knew who I really was!” 

_It would’ve been so much easier for him to bear. He would’ve felt less guilty that way._

Kanda’s glare wasn’t hot with anger. It was _cold._ His fists were clenching and unclenching at his sides and he’d gone very, very pale. Allen looked down at the floor, and pressed his lips together into a thin hard line. 

  
  
“What the _fuck_ is your wrong with you?” Kanda asked. “You know what? Fuck you. Fuck this. I’m leaving,”

~~(And it hurt to hear that. It hurt because he didn’t care about revenge anymore). (He had wanted to be with Kanda, but it was too late now. Far too late, and Kanda’s glare was laced with hate).~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow


	9. Heartbreak Can Exist on Both Sides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whooo!! Another chapter!

Neah and Tiedoll were returning just as Kanda turned to walk out on him. Allen deserved this. He was a horrible person, and he deserved Kanda’s freezing cold rage. 

~~(So why did it hurt so much?)~~

“Yuu? What’s wrong—?” 

“I’m fucking leaving,” Kanda spat, and Allen went upstairs before he could hear any more. He convinced himself that this didn’t hurt. He convinced himself that his eyes didn’t sting, and his heart didn’t feel like it was being ripped out. 

He was good at pretending. Even when his chest felt live caving in. 

* * *

  
  


_Screeching tires. Mana had tried to push him out of the way, but the car was drifting and coming too fast as it barrelled down the street. He blacked out before he could feel the pain._

_When he finally woke up, his ears were ringing._

_He couldn’t feel his arm or his leg. He could, however, feel the burning heat of fire. He could feel the glass in his face, and worst of all he could_ see _Mana._

_Allen could see how he took the brunt of the accident. He saw the mess that the street had become, as the car had hit Mana, and then hit two other cars._

_There was hardly anything of Mana left. Through his foggy vision he could make out Mana’s twisted and mangled mess of limbs. One of his arms had landed near Allen, but he couldn’t scream._

_He turned his attention to himself after a few seconds, hardly hearing the scream of sirens. The image of his broken leg and burning arm was burned into his mind forever. Along with Mana’s body._

_Someone had pressed something to his face after removing the glass, and he could hardly make out their features. A paramedic?_

_Someone else was setting his leg, but he only knew that because he could see them doing it._

_The next thing he knew, he was sitting in a hospital bed with Neah at his side._

_But he would never forget Mana’s twisted and crumpled body. The way his skull had caved in, and the impact of being hit with the car sent his limbs flying. How his bones were undoubtedly crushed, and how his eyes had been blank. Glassy and blank._

_Dead._

He woke up screaming. His face was burning, and his arm was nothing but a useless mass of pain. If Allen wasn’t currently staring up at his ceiling, then he would’ve thought that he was still laying in the street surrounded by raging fires and stinging glass. 

Allen shot up instantly, his hand covering his burning eye. His scarred arm sparked with phantom pains, and he could hardly bring himself to move it at all. 

_His skin burning, charring, and blackening._

“Allen?” Neah asked worriedly, brushing Allen’s hair out of his eyes. “Are you okay? You were screaming,” 

He grit his teeth and didn’t look at Neah in the eye. He didn’t even look up at all, instead opted to shake his head slightly. Neah didn’t even hesitate to crush him in a fierce hug, and Allen was startled at the contact. 

Everytime someone hugged him after particularly bad dreams — until recently all the hugs he’d received were from Cross, who was too awkward for it to be comfortable for either of them — his skin prickled around his various scars and made them itch. 

“Stay here for a second,” Neah said suddenly, “I’ll get you something, okay?” 

Allen wasn’t sure what Neah could get him that would help him with his burning skin and aching chest, but he waited either way. He threw his blanket off of himself quickly, but he made no move to stand. 

He was sure that Neah would chastise him, and force him to go back to bed. So he let his legs dangle off the edge of his bed. He could see the difference between his legs. His lame leg had a scar from his knee to his ankle, and the muscles there never quite made a full recovery. 

There were shards of his bones from the original break, and they hadn’t been able to get all of them out. Luckily he could still walk, but he had a limp. 

Somehow, thinking of this was less painful than thinking about what had happened between him and Kanda… 

He was a horrible person. That was the only way he could describe what he’d done and why. He’d wanted to deliberately hurt Kanda because of some stupid childhood grudge. And in the process he learned the cruel truth that he had been falling for Kanda’s endless charm. 

It didn’t matter that Kanda probably practiced his moves on girls at his school before. He didn’t care if Kanda had done the same thing to other people, but now it would never happen again. 

Allen would never learn if all of that was real, or if it was part of Kanda’s act too. 

But… that wouldn’t explain why Kanda was so _angry._ It had to have been real. At least to some extent. 

He sighed heavily, feeling as if his chest might collapse under the stress of all his thoughts. He’d been naive and childish, and it cost him this potential chance to fix things with Kanda. He had a chance to change everything that had happened between them when they were children, but instead he’d chosen that revenge — petty, useless, revenge — was more important. 

Neah returned with a cool towel, and held it out to him. Allen raised his eyebrows at him curiously. His uncle just shrugged. “Cross told me that this helps after the nightmares,” 

He accepts the cold, damp towel gratefully, and presses it to the most painful area. His face. His scar. 

“Thanks,” 

“No problem, Allen,” Neah says gently, sitting down on the edge of his bed. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Talk about what?” Allen asks innocently, looking out his window. 

“The nightmares, or maybe what happened between you and Kanda…” Neah grabbed his unscarred shoulder and squeezed it gently. “Whichever is easier, or whichever is more pressing…” 

Allen sighs heavily. He _should_ talk about it with Neah. He just has no idea where he should start. With Mana? With the accident? With Kanda? 

Neah already knows everything about the accident, and what Allen went through. He’s talked about it so many times with a therapist Cross hired from America, but it’s different to talk about it with Neah. 

But he doesn’t want to remember that. He doesn’t want to hurt Neah by digging up past memories that even he doesn’t want to relive. 

“I don’t want to talk about the accident,” Allen began, and Neah sighs and it sounds like he’s relieved. “And about Kanda…” 

The thought of what had been happening in the living room between them before they left for the museum played through his mind. He wants to blush and melt right on the spot, but his chest feels heavy and cold with guilt. 

“He looked pretty pissed when he left,” Neah mumbles when Allen fails to pick up his trail of thought. 

“I was…” Allen licks his chapped lips. He knows it’ll only serve to make his lips drier as a result, but it’s a habit he can’t break. “He found out who I was. He found out that I used to be friends with him when we were children, and he got really mad that I hid it from him.” 

“Why did you?” 

“When we were kids he told me that I was a monster before the accident. He rejected me with no hesitation, so when I learned that I was returning here to Japan I decided that I’d get revenge on my childhood bully. And I knew for a fact that Kanda never bothered to learn my real name, so I planned on seducing him and breaking his heart—” Neah snorts, nearly keeling over with laughter. Allen silences him with a half-hearted glare. “—I knew it was stupid and childish, but I really didn’t think I’d even get this far. So when he found out who I was he asked me why I didn’t tell him. He was so mad, and I don’t even know why. So I got mad too—”

“And you told him that you were only hiding it so you could hurt him because you felt guilty, right?” Neah finished, still grinning. “Dear nephew, I think you got your dramatics from me,” 

That elicits a laugh from Allen at last. “Although, I don’t think he took it very well,” Allen told him honestly. “And I feel really bad about it,” 

“There are other guys out there, Allen,” Neah pointed out. “And I kind of feel like this was for the best. What would you have done if Kanda actually falled for you? Would you have been able to go through with it?” 

“No,” Allen tells him with an unnerving amount of certainty, rubbing his scarred arm with the wet towel. "I wouldn't have,"

  
  


* * *

  
  


Yuu was angrier than he’d been in his entire life. Not only at himself for not even noticing that his childhood crush right in front of him, but also for Allen’s actions. His intentions. 

But he’s not as angry as he’d been when he got home. Tiedoll had left him in his room with his brushes and paint. The canvas was still empty and desolate, but it still calmed him considerably. 

He found that he still hated Allen with a passion, but he could also see where it had gone all wrong. 

~~(Yuu found himself wishing that he’d never pressured Allen into taking his gloves off. That the entire moment hadn’t come to pass).~~

He should’ve respected Allen’s delicate boundaries. But god— It didn’t stop Yuu from hating Allen. A raging fire of fury squeezed around his heart, and the paintbrush creaked under the weight of his clenching hands. 

Yuu wanted to get back at Allen, but he knew deep down that he kind of deserved this. It was like a sign from the universe that this was his karma for rejecting so many people. 

For breaking so many hearts unapologetically and ruthlessly. He had humiliated so many classmates with his little stunts, so he _knew_ that he deserved this. Honestly, he should’ve seen it coming. 

A person like him, like Yuu, could never achieve real happiness. He was too closed off he was too stoic. He wasn’t the type to please, or dote on someone. It just wasn’t his style, so maybe this was for the best. 

He clicked his tongue silently, gazing lazily out his window. This was definitely going to make their walks home immeasurably awkward, however. This was going to make _everything_ awkward. He could just ignore the damn Moyashi completely, and avoid that situation entirely. 

That sounded like a much better plan. He pulled his hair up into a high ponytail and got to work on something more productive than sitting around with his burning rage. 

He didn’t think about how it would’ve felt to feel the strangeness of the Moyashi’s scarred skin beneath his fingertips. He definitely didn’t think about how it would feel to trail the soft curve of the scar on his face. 

It definitely didn’t piss him off and break his heart into tiny pieces that it would never come to fruition. 

How he would never explore the Moyashi’s moonlit skin, and feel his body respond beneath him. Yuu would never feel what he’d felt with that damn shortstack. It wasn’t love. 

It was too small, and too fragile and unsure to be _real_ love. But it had been enough for Yuu. He had been on the edge of swooning for those wide, innocently sparkling eyes. Those lips that were always slightly parted in surprise every time Yuu said something risque just to see how he’d react. 

He wanted to fall. He really wanted to throw himself off the edge and let himself feel something. Yuu was tired of being stoic and cold. He’d wanted to prove to himself that it was safe to feel his emotions and that it was safe to go soft for someone. 

To open his heart to someone, and let them do as they pleased because he trusted them enough not to break it. 

The fucking Moyashi seemed like the only shot he’d been given. But the door slammed abruptly in his face, and he was left to simmer on his anger and disappointment. 

Because that’s what he deserved. Wasn’t it? 

It was far too late to change anything. The damn Moyashi would move on from this, but Yuu would sit on it. He would hang on to the question of what could've been. He would wonder if he did enough, or if he should’ve talked it out with the short stack. 

Yuu would look at Allen Walker with thinly-veiled longing and guilt. 

He would wish that Allen would move on from him, so that Yuu felt less guilty. But he’d also mourn the day, and despair at seeing him with someone else. 

It would be like driving a dagger in his chest, straight into his heart. It would be painful, but Yuu couldn’t bring himself to try and piece all of this together. He didn’t want to try because he knew how it would play out. 

He knew he’d end up hurting himself in the end. He grit his teeth, preferring to feel anger over sadness. 

Anger, he knew how to deal with. But sadness? He wasn’t the type to cry it out. 

It would hold his chest in an iron-tight grip that would keep him from speaking. He’d feel frozen, helpless and weak. So he let the anger overpower him. 

He pushed away the heartache and sadness.

But it sat in the back of his mind, like poison. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like, I know Allen and Kanda really didn't start a real relationship but.... Kanda really cared about Allen and vice versa. I'm honestly writing Kanda's POV using my own experiences with not being able to express my full emotions because I feel weak. It's a real thing my bros. 
> 
> I fucking hate crying and I don't open up so I have this kinship with him that's kinda weird lmao


End file.
